Dealing With a Breakup
After recently breaking up with my boyfriend, I have to say the emotions I have been experiencing are not my normal ones.
First of all, I was not absolutely devastated. Instead, I have this mild sadness that hangs around in my stomach. No feeling like my heart is being split in two, no crying like it’s the end of the world, and no erratic emotions.
Instead, I have this lingering sadness with a hint of loneliness. Sleeping is nearly impossible with all the thoughts that wont leave my head at night.
But all that would be bearable if it weren’t for a handful of people. “Are you okay?” “How are you doing?” Bla bla bla. Shut up. See, the only people who are asking me how I’m feeling about this breakup other than two dear friends are guys that have told me in the last year that they want to date me. We have an ex-boyfriend who told me that I’m the girl that got away. Wait, make that two. And then there’s another guy who kept “joking” that if I was single, he and I would totally be together. Uh, no.
And the worst part about is I know that they still feel that way. And I know that they don’t care that I might be really sad right now, because all they can think about is “Fuck yeah, this is my opportunity”. Excuse the language.
All I want right now is to be alone with my thoughts, read my favorite books, watch some romance movies that make me cry, and enjoy some silence. Is that too much to ask of people?
On top of all that, my mom accused me of cheating on my boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend. I haven’t told her that I’m breaking up with him. Instead, I’m waiting until after my birthday to let her know we split so she wont be upset she bought him a Christmas gift. How annoying. I have to consider my mother’s opinion when breaking up with people. It’s just so wrong. I’m also pissed that she thought I was cheating on the boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend. That was like pouring salt on a wound.