Another Chat With The Ex
As the title says, I had another chat with my ex (you know, the taco guy). His name is Henry, now that he’s decided to be a repeat character in my life story.
Henry was supposed to be “the One”. I was never more sure of anything in my life than being with him. It never even crossed my mind to be with someone else. It had crossed my mind to leave him a couple of times, because he was very immature and I was too mature and too immature all at the same time. But there was part of me that never doubted we should end up together in that path towards forever.
Then came the collapse. It was dramatic and painful and messy. Like an atomic bomb. I have hated him with so much passion it could have turned my hair red.
Back to the story…
So I was talking to him again today on Skype. I was really hoping that he was drunk from St. Patty’s Day, but he was as sober as I am. I was a bit disappointed in his sobriety, because it’s so much easier to pull information from him when he’s loosened up.
Instead, I got nothing out of him. All my questions are still piling up in my head. And I’m just fucked. I don’t love my boyfriend and I’m trying to pull away. And I’m looking to get blown up if I keep talking to Henry. But it’s hard when you know someone so well. And they know you so well. I can read him like a book and he “reads me like a dirty magazine”. His words.
I have to focus on myself. I can’t go anywhere without me. I’ll have to wait for the future like everyone else. Maybe there’s better.