I don’t understand why people feel the need to talk shit about others behind their back.
At work, there has been a huge problem with gossiping. It got so bad I actually had to write to HR about the situation. Then, one of the managers told the person I was writing about and there was a huge blow-up. That was a while ago.
But last week, I was out with a friend who told me that a mutual friend of ours (who I considered to be one of my closest and most trusted friends) has been saying some strange things about me. And she wanted to know if it was true.
“What kind of strange things has she been saying?”
“That you have this game you play with guys that you call the ‘Waist Band Game’ where you tease a guy for three months, have sex with him, and then dump him”
“Um..no. I mean, the last guy I dated I was with for 7 months. The guy before that was a year and a half. That should be proof enough that those claims are ridiculous”
We then found out that she talks about all her ‘friends’ behind their back.
Now, there is always the possibility that the friend that told me this was lying herself. I like to believe the best in people. But either way, it means that someone was talking shit about someone behind their back.
I’m sick of it. Why is this okay? It’s not okay. And I’m sick of people talking about other people behind their back. I feel a bit hypocritical saying this after just telling you what my friend did, but I’m trying to comprehend why humans do this. And I’m trying to figure out what is considered “talking shit”.
Here is what I have come up with.
“Talking Shit” is when:
A person is saying something to injure someone’s reputation, cause a general dislike of this person, make them alienated from a group, etc.
A person is sharing information to stir up drama, create excitement, gather attention to themselves by becoming a source of information, etc.
This information does not have to be false or made up. It could be something someone actually did. But it generally should cause injury to the party spoken about.
I’m so sick of it. I’m tired of turning on the TV to see people trashing celebrities for slipping up somehow. I’m tired of the morning talk shows on my favorite radio stations making fun of people who did this or that or this celebrity got in an argument with this person. I don’t care. I don’t want to know. Leave people in peace.
And I am just as guilty of this. I’ll listen to people tear into a poor innocent person who isn’t there and able to refute the charges. And I’ll even partake in spreading the gossip. And very rarely am I the person to start the gossip.
But I’m putting a stop to it. No longer will I listen to it, will I read it, will I share it. I will stick to the advice many children got from watching Bambi: “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”.
And I ask for you to try going one day without saying anything negative about anyone. To not gossip. I’d like you to think about what you say before you say it and how it might affect the person you are talking to or the subject of the conversation. Do not listen or read any gossip. Avoid it like the plague.